I find it fascinating that in spite of many advances in modern psychology certain myths and downright errors still persist. We’ve become wonderfully aware of neurodiversity and the abilities and limitations that has placed on individuals. Yet there is still much to understand about our fellow humans.
Micro expressions are one of these, and learning to notice them has helped me to understand people, draw out ideas and comprehend situations more fully numerous times in recent years.
What are micro expressions?
It’s funny, in researching this article I could find a number of articles that help identify the emotions you might see in micro expressions, but not what they are or what opportunities they open up.
Micro expressions occur when you’re talking to someone, perhaps you ask them a question or they reach an important juncture in the conversation. There might be a very short pause, a very slight change in the persons demeanour, and then it’s gone.
That change can be for the briefest of moments. Literally milliseconds, just enough to be noticeable. I quite often notice them when someone else I’m with is doing the talking. Suddenly I’ll see the person glance my way, or at the floor, or even skywards for a fraction of a second, and then resume the conversation.
As I said above, a lot has been done to identify the kinds of emotion a person might be experiencing when these happen. However I’ve learned a pattern of response that is broader, and which can foster openness in communication.
How to utilise the opportunity
When I notice someone displaying a micro expression my immediate thought is that in some way, I’m not hearing the whole story. The person might be projecting; it could be that they’re telling me something because they think I want to hear it. Or because they’re not emotionally ready to tell me about some detail of it yet. Or more seriously because they’re concealing something that they don’t want me to know for some other reason.
This is an opportunity for further discussion, and a lot could be lost by ignoring it or pretending it didn’t happen.
I typically try to ask a viewpoint question, to try to draw out the person and help them explore the subject a bit more. For example, if we’re talking about a conversation they’ve previously had, I might say to them, “is that all they said?” because it might be a good way of opening the door to further understanding.
What not to do
We mustn’t fixate on micro expressions. Calling someone out because you’ve noticed they’ve displayed one is only going to shut them down, and could very quickly erode your relationship with them.
Instead use them as a platform for further understanding, and your relationship with them, more deeply.
If they’re concealing something, it might be good to think of why. Are we a person in their life they don’t want to open up to fully? How could we improve that relationship?
Concluding Thoughts
There’s a lot more resource on this subject out there, so if you’re interested in this sort of thing, you can go and look it up.
Also, am I going to regret diluting my blog’s SEO by adding another, entirely new subject to it?
No.
Do I care about SEO?
Also no.